My Epiphany...

Hey guys

Sorry this post is coming a few days later than expected but I didn't really think about it until just now. Any who, I have been thinking about how I have been dealing with the whole lupus elephant in the room and the truth is, I haven't. Not really.

Its just that I kind of swept it under the rug and yeah people know I was diagnosed with it but its just not something I like to talk about. Now, I think that I am in a place where I can and am willing to talk about it to people who want to know.

I found a website, http://www.cure4lupus.org/ actually I am not sure if I found it or if it was referred to me by my cousin, either way it really helped me with accepting this disease. I am looking through these links and realize in the scheme of things I got the most common type of lupus.

Did you know that the singer Seal got the scars on his face from a childhood battle with Discoid Lupus. All this time I thought that it was from a motorcycle accident. There was a whole list of celebrities with Lupus some alive, some dead but there are more people with this disease than I thought there were.

What it boils down to for me is that, no I am not in anyway satisfied with my life right now, but hopefully I will find a place that I fit and can start to take strides in becoming independent and building a life of my own. Maybe because of the fact that I am owning Lupus it will no longer own me.

Love, peace and hairgrease...

Court

First of many...

It is quarter to six and wanna know what I have done today? Well, I have been watching a Ghost Whisperer marathon on TV, that and checked my email. I should feel bad but I really don't seeing how I cleaned and rearranged my room yesterday. I think I am like my mom in the fact that I feel like I should be doing something. Still a zero on the job front, and no that doesn't mean I want to up and get a 9-5 job outside of the house but the online jobs I have looked into are a sham. I would like to feel like I have some sort of purpose in the world and not just a 25 year old with no job experience and a high school degree. That's not to say that my life sucks and woe is me or anything, I have a pretty good life if I do say so myself. I would just like to earn more than 80 bucks every two weeks and feel like my 14 year old siblings have more of a life than I do. Think I might start writing again, problem is they say write what you know and I what I know is pretty depressing sometimes. I guess today is my dark and gloomy day, the day I choose to look at whats lacking (in my opinion) in my life.

Tomorrow will be better...

Courtney

Something New...

Hey guys,
So starting this month I am gonna try to post something at least every Saturday. This blog is gonna start to be used more as my journal than anything else. Some posts may be short and sweet while others my be long and contemplative, so bare with me as I sort through my thoughts and feelings.
Love you all...
Courtney